That Time they got Reincarnated as a Nepo Baby

Report by Cenon Pineda | Graphics by Lian Lambanicio | Layout by Nikka Gutierrez

They say the closest thing to heaven is being born with rich parents, but if we're just talking about hypothetical why not add another variable: to be born with a ballot in the crib. They say diapers, milk, and other baby essentials are enough to gift your newborn babies, but when you are brought forth to this world through nepotism that includes a handed campaign slogan and a guaranteed career path. Forget having the tooth fairy, when you have a whole dynasty to raise you through the waves of discomfort. Why slip teeth when you can throw your tooth under the pillow and in exchange that little junior would never experience to line up in that job fair.

These are the political nepo babies: children of mayors, governors, senators, presidents, and contractors who inherit not just the oldest antique furniture but the banks with billions of peso infrastructure deals. And unlike showbiz Nepos that only give us bad acting and forgettable albums, these measly born muggles give us something more permanent: substandard flood control, ghost projects, and waist deep water whenever it rains.

A Surname

Consider the Alonte clan of Biñan, Laguna. Bayani Arthur Alonte once sat as mayor, with his daughter, Len Alonte Naguiat that graduated from being councilor to vice mayor to mayor and now occupies the congress as the city's representative. Angelo Alonte on the other hand their brother walks with the title of Vice Mayor with class trampling over each step like a boss. And as if the name hasn't made enough sound yet, niece Gela Alonte is already testing the waters on social media, her TikTok videos are slowly substituting campaign posters.

A great example of having less “public service” and more “family planning”. Governance in the eyes of the Alontes’ is practically a family reunion with official stationery.

If the Alontes built their own franchise, Zaldy Co is a one-man conglomerate. Check this a struggling businessman trying to find a great wager to at least have food on his spoon found an easy way out by being the next Ako Bicol representative, Co is closely knitted with Sunwest Corporation that just happens to be one of the firms that holds lucrative DPWH contracts. I mean this dude took the reincarnation concept up to its extent, if you ever heard of plot armor this guy took it all by a landslide. His brother? A construction guy as well. His Niece? Living the soft girl influencer dream, living through flaunting made possible by workers pouring cement on projects that the taxpayers paid.

Conflict of interest? Of course, not in the Philippines, it's called Synergy.

Ghost Projects and Flood Control Issue

The DPWH projects have been showered with ₱1.185 trillion in a single year to be exact. But when a single drop of water comes by the sky it's as if not even a single centavo was not used to fix the dams or drainage systems. Why? Because ghosting has long been a political strategy long before your boyfriend did that to you, most plans were only manifested on paper without proper application. Dikes collapse, drainage clogs, and residents discover that their “flood-proof” barangay is only invincible in Excel spreadsheets.

And you know what's even funnier, the Philippines doesn't even have a comprehensive flood control master plan. Billions poured on their trashy projects, but no actual roadmap for preventing floods was ever confirmed. It's like Noah building his ark but at least the guy had a vision of his own on how it'll go or look like.

Damage Control Script

The damage control doesn't just go through extortion or paying the man in power. When caught the nepotistic monsters does not panic, he or she simply opens the “damage control script”, which comes in three flavors:

1.Denial: “I had nothing to do with the Budget Insertions”

2.Deflection: “That's DPWH matter”

3.Romanticize the Struggle: “It's actually harder for me because of my last name” with a British accent of course because if not it simply wouldn't work…

Then us we get flooded

In the Philippines, nepotism in politics doesn’t just mean another Padilla on primetime or another Gutierrez on Instagram. It means billions siphoned from public coffers, flood control projects that don’t control floods, and dynasties that treat governance like a family business. So next time the rains come, and the water rises, remember it’s not just climate change drowning us. It’s also the weight of surnames, the rot of nepotism, and the ghost projects haunting our taxes.

And the political nepo babies? They’ll be fine. Their reincarnation comes with rubber boats, private drivers, and condos on higher ground